Sup mah dudes! These things are always awkward to start...I don't want to feel like I'm giving a weird support group introduction about myself. A quick overview though - I'm 23 and I do have anxiety and depression. I am also #medicated woohoo! Yeah I'm on that good good. My mom had once referred to them as my happy pills and I think that's more fun to think of than my daily intake of chemicals that my body so sadly lacks. (I'm definitely going to talk about medications at some point, strap in.) 

Through counseling and learning a lot of different coping mechanisms, I feel pretty comfortable talking about my own experiences and I've eventually worked up enough courage to write about them! I hope you find my humor as a refreshing addition to this usually very rigid topic of conversation. I don't mean to make fun or discount anything, I just like to use humor to help myself get through things. And trust me when I say I know that some days are less funny than others. 

SO anyways, I'll just write this like I talk - hope that's cool.

I am here because, like so many people, I am so done - no - FED UP with quarantine and that's the quaranTEA. Obviously, I'm keeping my social distance, wearing a mask, and being smart. What I mean is that my mental health is at an all time liggity LOW right now. Being stuck inside and told that I'll be working from home until basically the grave, SUCKSSSS. The lines between work life and personal life are so blurred at this point, I basically have no separation of the two. I get messages and emails at 9pm? LET ME ANSWER. Ugh it's so bad, I hate it. 

I'll be honest, since March, I've been rocking that "I just got hit by a bus and dragged for 2 miles" look until about 1:00pm most days. I pretty much wake up looking like a cave woman emerging from the dark depths of her whole. If you're like me, you're a "look good, feel good" kind of gal. LOL THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT. I've been working in PJs for 6 months and feel 

***Record scratch***

SO  - I started writing this post on Wednesday night...Thursday morning I was fired. Straight up dropped like a bad habit. I want this blog to be authentic and real. I stopped in the middle of a sentence to go to bed and just as abruptly my life was disrupted as well. 

I'm not going to lie - there is nothing pretty about getting fired. I kind of want to throw out the "it's a new opportunity!"  BS and get real. Even though it is a new opportunity (blah blah blah), for the better half of the weekend I felt like I was sucker punched in the gut. I cried the ugly cry, stayed in bed for an undesirable amount of time, and successfully slept for 12 hours a couple nights in a row. 

Having anxiety/depression on their own suck, but when something major like this happens in your life, it's even worse. Finally, there's an excuse for not wanting to talk to anyone, do anything, or leave the apartment. For a little while - people will give you the space you want because you're "going through it." Trust me when I say it feels like an easy out, but it's not. Do not let yourself fall down a hole you can't get out of. Fake the smiles for as long as it takes to make them real. One obstacle will not keep you from growing. I just saw a quote this morning and I am OBSESSED. 

"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose." - Wayne Dyer

Fuck yeah Wayne. I love a good quote to slap me in the face. Even though everything is easier said than done, try to keep the serotonin at a good level. I'm talking like - my roommate and I were considering putting the Christmas decorations up this week. WHATEVER IT TAKES. Get weird, get wild, get HAPPY. 

Although untraditional, I feel like this was a good start to my blog - NAY our blog (aw :')) I've gotten a lot of really great suggestions of topics to cover over the course of writing, so I will definitely make it a point to incorporate them all. Please feel free to message me on instagram or leave a comment on this post to let me know what else  you want to see!

For now - Imma get through this shit one way or another so strap in for the journey. 

P.S. sorry for my spastic writing - convinced I have a little bit of ADD in me as well...if you can follow along, all the power to ya. Let's vibe.