Heyyyyyyy all you cool ca- nope not even going to say it. ^indicator of how this weekend has been! ...wait I think it’s Friday. Wow I guess the days really melt together when you’ve got nothing going on! *nervous laughs*

ANYWAYS. Hey buddies - I’ve spent the last few days doing some deep reflecting...internally but also literally, by looking at myself in the mirror. (There’s that gab whit we all know and love) YIKES. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lived in the cycle of hating my body, wanting to change my body, feeling too depressed about actually acting to change my body, then accepting what I am as meh.

I don’t care what shape, size, or gender you are; at some point in your life I’m sure you looked in the mirror and wished you could change something. Is this a bad thing? Only if you let it be. AYOO Gab’s about to hit you with it.

Body dysmorphia is the most painful mind game in this life. I’ll be honest (that’s why I made the damn blog) I got on the scale Monday morning and I cried. BALLED LIKE A DAMN BABY. I’ve never seen a number that high...in my mind only a man could weigh that much! This was a huge step for me because I haven’t weighted myself in months. I would avoid that number like the plague. When I went to doctor’s visits, I’d tell them not to show me what the scale said because in my mind - that number was toxic.

Well here’s the real truth kids - that number (along with your size) is only as powerful as you let it be. With lots of support from super hot bf Joe (my TCO people know what’s up) I was able to make a decision to change my lifestyle. I grew tired of letting my WEIGHT determine my mood for the day. Instead of hiding from it and ignoring it - I am tackling it head on.

HOWEVER - that’s just how I’m making a change in my life. I’m excited to get to a place where I’m good with my image. But don’t get me wrong - I’m still a hot piece of ass right now...I just would like to be so without 2 chins and wearing those jeans I bought last May. Bottom line is that you need to take control of your body image in a healthy way and be happy with who you are. You’re acceptance is the only one that’s going to matter in the end.

BOOM MIC DROP! Ugh got myself feeling like Robin Williams over here; rest in power you magical man. But I didn’t want to go on too deep about this topic. It effects everyone so differently. There’s no right way to “fix” the way you see yourself. Practice self love and taking care of yourself INSIDE and out. Just know that as long as you’re healthy and happy with your body - WORK THAT ASS because oh honey God gave you that ass so you best be using it!

Inspo quote of the week: “you deserve the love you keep trying to give to everyone else.”