Think B4 Ink?
Hi little dumplin’s - didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long! I just got all in my head about what I was going to say and “ahh it has to be inspiring for the new year” kind of thing, but fuck that. HERE I AM - back with the regularly scheduled programming.
I didn’t write because I truly was not inspired by anything. I spent the holidays with my family and cat (aw) and then came back to Bahston to start my new job, so I’ve been busy routining and what not. There it is - that’s why I didn’t write…now shut up, we never have to bring it up again (until it inevitably happens again and I feel the need to explain myself to an audience of 7 people)
SO TODAY we talkin bout tatts. Yes, yes - let’s all get crazy about tattoos. LOL the title alludes to the fact that I think before I get tattoos - and that’s not entirely true. You see, I used to get so nervous, like a lot of people do before getting their first tattoo, until I just did it. I guess a part of me realized that I’m not very significant/perfect so why do my tattoos need to be? RIGHT - we all take ourselves way too seriously. Like…why should I be that concerned with where/what my first tattoo is? As if that’s going to be the end all of me, and not the fact that I publicly embarrass myself at least once a day.
BUT ANYWAYS - not thinking - that’s my forte. I got my first tattoo while abroad in Italy because I’m ~ cultured ~ LOL no - I got it in Italy because I had someone with me that was willing and able to take that leap of faith with me. We walked into a random tattoo shop that we semi researched and got some ink! #ShoutoutFran I pretty much knew I wanted a semi colon because of the meaning but I didn’t know any of my other tattoos until the day I got them.
I’m not writing this to tell you to get stupid tattoos. What I’m trying to communicate is that we need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. Life is beautiful and all of our individual lives are like pieces of art - even when that piece of art gets turned down by a guy, or maxes out their credit card, or gets the middle finger from a stranger. LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE AND WEIRD AND why am I saying this? Because when I look at my tattoos, I see the times I had control of myself, of my life, of my art.
On National Suicide Prevention Awareness Day in 2019, I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean, staring straight into the sky. I couldn’t get myself out of the nastiest, depressed funk. I really wanted to hurt myself. After practicing some techniques from my therapist, I was able to get dressed and leave my apartment. I needed to get away from the place that was keeping me down. On that day I walked into a tattoo shop and got 2 tattoos.
I got an ellipses on my wrist because that’s where I wanted to hurt myself and DIDN’T. (I also got a crescent moon because wtf not) WHAT I AM SAYING is I took control of myself and found a way to turn my sadness into another piece of beauty in my life. And that might not be what tattoos mean to you - that’s COOL! Do what you want - just don’t take yourself seriously and live with as few regrets as possible. The world might tell you that you’re going to look trashy, or you’ll have regrets when your old, but guess what? JOKES ON THEM I already have regrets :’) jk don’t let other people define happiness, beauty, life, etc for you. This is YOUR chance to be here and make it fun - so don’t ya wanna decorate the skin a lil before you peace out?
P.S. my tattoos do have meaning to me I just usually don’t know what until the day I get them. And if you’re my parents and you read this, no you didn’t :’)
P.P.S. “Forever is composed of nows.” - Emily muthafuckin Dickinson
